I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the Lord changed my life.
Not the World Race, not any person I’ve met or any place I’ve been to.
But, I’ve also said this before: the World Race was a catalyst for much of the growth the Lord has walked me through this year and for that I’m incredibly thankful.
This year, the Lord walked me through what it means to believe, and that is something that changed my life.
Coming into the Race, I knew the Bible, I knew all the stories, I knew God’s character, and I knew what He called me. I grew up in a Christian household and on the mission field, I knew a lot.
I knew a lot, but I still wasn’t walking in liberty.
Here’s why: I didn’t truly believe any of these truths I had known all my life. I took for granted much of what I knew of God and His character; I took the truth of who He calls me too lightly. I often brushed it off with a “yeah, yeah, I know this” attitude. I had heard it all so many times before that I had grown calloused to the reality of what these truths meant for me personally.
And because of this, I was complacent and lukewarm in my faith.
I performed, and I performed hard. I let the opinions and words of others bear so deep into my soul so that I became a slave to them. I became so flexible and moldable to the desires of those around me that I lost myself; I had no idea who I was. I was hurting, bitter, and insecure. I was walking in bondage.
Too often, we know the truth of God’s character and who we are in Him, be have not registered this truth in our hearts. The line between knowing and believing is hard to distinguish at first, but it is something that can dramatically change the way we live as children of the King.
I would even say that the difference between knowing and believing is as contrasting as the difference between slave and free.
As I write this, a thought is rising up. Maybe a lack of believing is often a stumbling block that prevents people have grown up in the Church from walking fully in the freedom of Christ.
It’s our heads that know truth, yet it’s our hearts that believe it. I don’t think I was truly able to live in the freedom of who He says I am until I let my head knowledge sink down into my heart.
Until I believed.
Until I believed that I was chosen, held, seen, liberated, mighty, beloved, and worthy. Until I believed that I was loved, and that this is my whole purpose.
I always knew I was loved by the Father, but it wasn’t until my Race that I believed this truth. The Lord helped me to believe, and as soon as I did I felt the sweet melody of liberty flow down into the deepest parts of my aching heart. And I felt those chains come off ! Yes, they fell off with finality and hit the ground with a resounding thud.
I know this concept of “believing” is pretty undefined. There’s not many practical ways I can tell you to start believing. I do know that it is something we’re only able to do with His help, and He leads us through that. All we have to do is ask.
It also takes some analyzing. We have to look at what we know as truth in our faith and see if those have been internalized and realized fully in our hearts. Are we taking those truths for granted? Or are we living fully in the freedom that comes from believing the reality of those truths?
I know that I’m still learning how to believe some things and I am beyond excited to continue walking that out. I’m forever grateful that the Lord started the process this year of showing me how to believe.
It changed my life.
