Joy. So much joy.

It was one of those moments where the sun was peeking through the clouds just right, where you could just feel the radiance of the Father’s smile. And because of that radiance, I couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, jumping.

Friends, I got baptized!

Here’s how it happened.

Our mentor Madie presented us with an opportunity to get baptized in a nearby lake, and through a series of events, the Lord made it extremely clear to me that getting rebaptized was something he wanted me to do.

I had been baptized when I was 8 or 9 years old, and I think that in the moment, I knew what that meant. But since then- into middle school and throughout high school- my relationship with the Lord was inconsistent, marked by my own complacency and unwillingness to be all in for him. 

On Thursday last week, the Lord highlighted some verses from Zechariah 2:

“Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of people and animals in it. And I myself will be a wall of fire around it,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will be its glory within.’"

I knew it was time to let him take down my walls, walls of fear, pride, comparison, and condemnation. I knew that it was time for his fire to come and replace those walls, and for him to be my glory within! I knew it was time to say yes to Him, once and for all. To declare that forever and ever, for the rest of my days, all I wanted to do was live for him. 

And that’s exactly what I did.

Initially, about 16 people on my squad were going to get baptized, but that number morphed into about 22! It was a day of celebration and absolute joy. Pure joy. 

Fast forward to this week. It’s been nothing short of difficult and overwhelming. The Lord spoke over this week and told me it would be one of “tiredness”. Not really what I wanted to hear coming into a new week! 

Why would you want me to feel exhausted and worn out, Lord? What are you trying to teach me through tiredness? 

He taught me a lot about rest, for one thing. How I’m wired when it comes to rest, and when I need to rest. But something else that has been coming up this week is the phrase- “the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

In a week where the joy of last week has seemingly dissipated, I have to remind myself that it really hasn’t. Even though the joy isn’t as tangible it’s still there. In a week where I’m exhausted and overwhelmed physically, mentally, spiritually- his joy is my strength. Joy is something I get to choose, every. single. day. And when I choose that joy, even when I’m tired, I get to soak in that strength and find rest for my weary soul. 

When I wake up in the morning, just as tired as the night before, I can still choose to greet the Lord and say “good morning God!” even if I’m not feeling it. 

I’m not writing this blog because I got it dialed down. I still don’t fully know how to choose His joy everyday, and most days I find it really hard to. But if you’re like me and having a pretty rough week- I wanted to encourage you and let you know that you don’t have to do it on your own strength. He is waiting, inviting you to choose into his joy and find your strength in him. So, I wanted to ask you:

How can you choose into His joy today?

Thanks for keeping up with me and my journey! As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or just want to talk!

Emma

emmasnowaustin@gmail.com