praise in the silence

Last week, my squad and I got a second opportunity to partner with Samaritan’s Purse and serve homeowners affected by the recent hurricanes in Louisiana! 

What a week. 

God moved and worked in so many incredible ways. Despite this, last week was also incredibly hard. I found myself feeling SO disconnected from the Lord. I knew He was there and that He was near- but I felt like I wasn’t hearing ANYTHING from him.

I felt like He was silent. 

I found myself going to serve in the mornings very frustrated. Just give me something, Lord! Anything! Something to know you still speak to me!

I also found myself trying to shove down that frustration by working hard, and working non-stop. Which is a terrible place to be in. I realized that if I filled all my time with work, I didn’t have to face that empty void of a lack of communion with the Father.

And then God forced me to stop. We were tarping a roof. Our team leader with Samaritan’s purse told me to sit on top of the roof and hold the tarp down while she and the other girls on my team worked on nailing the tarp to the edge of the roof. So, basically, I found myself forced to sit down on a roof, all by myself, and rest. 

I’ll be honest, in the first few minutes of that I was grateful for a break. It was blissful. I took in the views. The breeze blowing through the trees, the sun shining down on me just the perfect amount so that I wasn’t too hot or too cold. The blue sky, the white, wispy clouds. The minutes passed, and then the quiet set in. I started to get frustrated that I wasn’t doing enough, that I needed to get off this roof and work some more. And then I started to think about how miserable I was. How desperately I wanted to hear from Him. I felt in my Spirit that I should just worship Him and thank Him for the beauty that was surrounding me. 

Lord, I really don’t want to do that! 

But I did. I thanked Him for rest, for stillness, for peace. For the birds, for the breeze, for the blue sky, and the warm sunlight. For my squad and for my team. For His presence that was indeed near, even though I just couldn’t hear Him. 

I may not have been actively working, but I was doing my part in holding down the tarp. He gave me the gift of rest in that time. And in that moment, in that space, praise was also how I was supposed to serve the Lord.  

After that moment, it’s not like I just automatically heard Him clearly again. I still remember feeling frustrated as the week went by. But I learned that HE IS WORTHY no matter what. Worthy of our praise. While feelings are valid, they don’t determine the truth of who God is. He deserves it all no matter how I feel. There really is something to be said for praising in silence. 

Do you feel like God is silent? How can you offer up your praise to the Lord today despite that? Even if it’s difficult, even if you don’t want to, I challenge you to praise him in some way – even if it’s just saying, “hey Lord, thanks for…”

Thanks for reading, friend! As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or just want to talk! Thankful for you!

Emma